It has been ten years since I’ve gotten together to watch Oscar night, and compete with my good pals Chad and Melissa. Award shows, especially the Oscars, rank right up there with my guilty pleasures of Pro Wrestling, “Large animals eating people” movies, and 80s newspaper comic strips.
I like to think of myself as a fan of film, but year and year out I am lucky actually see maybe two or three nominated films at the Academy Awards. This year was no different, I saw Avatar, Up, Julie & Julia… and ah, Transformers 2, GI Joe… OK I’m ashamed with myself. I really would like to see most of the films nominated, eventually…
Still, without seeing any of these films, I developed an uncanny ability to predict the winners in all categories. I should make my formula a future blog, but then I wouldn’t want my competition to gain any more ground on me. I did miss 5 categories this year, which is actually a good year. I’ve never gotten them all right… yet.
Here is a random selection of thoughts from the broadcast:
Neil Patrick Harris is going to be the host next year. He has this new second career as the hip go-to awards show guy.
Was George Clooney in on the joke? It was either too well played, or he really did hate being joked with.
I like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, and I think they did an OK job. Not classic, better than Martin’s singular efforts from year’s past. However, their timing is a little off with their well-crafted characters they portray themselves as. Still the Paranormal Activity and Snuggie bits were funny.
I still wouldn’t mind if they dusted off Billy Crystal and brought him back.
What is with some of these gowns? I have zero fashion sense, but even I can pick out the poor ladies that are going to end up on the worst dressed lists. On the plus side, you could house earthquake victims in the poof of some of these skirts… was that insensitive? Why do they bother grading the men? How hard is it to but a tux together? Oh wait, I see that Sean Penn still has trouble dressing himself.
Remember when Cameron Diaz was supposed to be this comedic revelation? I don’t either. Steve Carell is still not funny.
Why is Jude Law the butt of so many Oscar jokes?
Ben Stiller is still not funny.
Hooray, Robert Downey Jr. is funny! Tina Fey should be appointed the head comedy writer of the world.
If you aren’t prepared to make a speech, and are uncomfortable doing so, why not let your fellow winner say something instead of wasting 45 seconds to stammer through a barely cohesive thank you.
Where was Jack Nicholson? Was there a Laker game last night?
Like most folks, I think the John Hughes tribute was fantastic. It is unfortunate that he was too many years away from the obligatory Honorary Oscar that they give to influential filmmakers who aren’t recognized enough in their time because their films don’t meet the snobby award-worthy standard, His films might have been considered larks at the time, but they ended up being powerful statements of a generation of youth.
Seating James Cameron behind his ex-wife and eventual winner Kathryn Bigelow was a stroke of genius. That arrangement right there told you how the evening was going to end in favor of the Hurt Locker.
Does Kristen Stewart have even an ounce of personality? How has this bland, bored, and sullen chick become a noted actress in Hollywood.
Did the producers of that excessively long dance number celebrating the best score winners even see the nominated films. I mean, what was going on? Why was a guy doing the robot for Up? Um, that was Wall-E, and that was last year.
When I first saw Jeff Bridges in the Big Lebowski, I thought – wow, this is quite a stretch for this guy. I mean, he always seemed to play these strong, clean cut, have-it-all-together types. But man, I can see that he isn’t at all far removed form the Dude, man. Man! Also kudos for rocking the General Custer facial hair on the most notable night of your career, man.
Helen Miren is HOT.
Every year, the Oscars must have a Belle of the Ball, and this year it was Sandra Bullock’s turn. Was she the most deserving actress to win? No. But she is a movie star, and movie stars should have Oscars. She was by far one of the more gracious winners of the award season. She even showed up to win Worst Actress at the annual Razzies the night before. I have to tell you, that’s all class.
All this effort to shorten the broadcast, and yet it stills slugs on past midnight.
And the winner for blink-and-you-miss-it major award announcement goes to Tom Hanks. Maybe he had to rush home to pay the sitter.
I have no idea if Hurt Locker was better than Avatar or even the 8 other nominees. I will say that Avatar was a beautifully crafted film and a marvel of technology, but the story was pedestrian at best for James Cameron. All the themes, situations, and characters have appeared before in much better films. For a Best Picture winner, I expect a fully realized effort, not just a pretty one.
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