In Defense of My Christmas Tree

Nothing seems to generate stronger opinions than that of how to celebrate Christmas correctly. Some think people put up decorations too early, others get their shopping done in September, some want more Christ in Christmas, and there are those who don’t want anything to do with it at all. ‘Tis the season of “to each his own” I guess. One of my favorite symbols of my celebration is one that always seems to illicit opinion from folks… my Christmas tree.

Now forget the fact that I’d keep the thing up year round if I could. Never mind that it is usually up from mid-November to mid-January. Don’t let it bother you that it is not a real tree. These aren’t the issues.

The problems people have with my tree seem to stem from the choice of decoration. I’ll be the first to admit that the greater half of the tree has nothing to do with the common adornments of the season. For example, my ex-wife hated my ornaments so much that she made me hang them on the back of the tree facing the wall. She’d be practically apologetic to people that viewed our tree, fearful of their judgment. Actually this is an analogy for our entire marriage.

Actually, the first impression you have of my tree should be positive. If I do say so, it is strikingly beautiful. Centered in our great room, it is visible from all angles of the house. The silver and bronze metallic balls and trim add extra shine to the glowing white lights. Bronze dusted branches extend from the top forming a sparkling crown around the top of the tree.

Once you approach the tree, however, you start to pick out things that may be out of place. Is that Billy Dee Williams? Why is there an Ecto-1? Does one really need two different Christmas Story Leg Lamps? Shouldn’t Princess Leia have some clothes on? There is no star atop the tree, but there seems to be a Death Star. Is the Grinch holding meat? How many of these ornaments are armed? It is indeed and odd assortment of motley pop culture characters. I know the wise men did not bring gifts of lightsabers, Bumbles, and Roast Beast, but these are featured icons nonetheless. Santa shouts out the ornaments calling them by name: “Now Darth Vader! Now Tigger! Now Swedish Chef and Captain Jack Sparrow; On Greedo! On Ralphie! On Harry Potter and Hermey!

I’ve gone ahead and informally worked out some percentages of the various groupings of ornaments represented. I’m actually a little surprised, as I thought the Star Wars percentage would be higher.

Star Wars: 43%
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: 12%
Anne-Marie (birds, cats, and photo ornaments): 12%
Santas and Snowmen: 6%
Muppets: 5%
Disney: 5%
A Christmas Story: 5%
Ohio State Football: 4%
Indiana Jones: 3%
Other Various Pop Culture: 5%


What people fail to realize is that this tree is every bit of what Christmas is to me. Every trinket tells a tale. They are reminders of the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Give or take a few years, there hasn’t been a Christmas where something branded Star Wars hasn’t been gifted. I remember distinctly the one Christmas Eve I couldn’t sleep because I was too charged up with excitement to get a Jabba the Hutt playset. I can’t imagine a Christmas spent without watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I’ve always found that herky-jerky bit of animation magical. I’ve had many beloved Muppet gifts other the years, including my first Animal puppet when I was 8 or 9 years old. A Christmas Story was a family favorite from the time it hit the theaters. It has a special place in the hearts of Cleveland residents because parts of the film where shot there. It is always on our television for some part of the annual 24-hour marathon on TBS. The day after Christmas was always a day to wear our new Ohio State apparel to my Mother’s family. College football was always a dominant conversion among my cousins and uncles.

I should really own stock in Hallmark, because they always manage to entice me to spread much of my holiday cheer (er… cash) their way every year. Whoever thought to add ornaments to their list of wares should be filthy rich and retired in some very non-seasonal island paradise.

Now that I’ve spent this entire story calling it my tree, I should mention it is every inch my family’s tree. The tree that stands in our living room is actually one of the first purchases my wife and I made together after only dating for a few weeks. She has come to adore what the tree means to me, and has fully embraced this as our single favorite house decoration. The ornaments I buy for her now aren’t necessarily because I think she’ll absolutely love them, rather they are things that remind me of her, and all the things we’ve shared together. It should also be noted that the first gift she ever bought me was an ornament. It was a small but meaningful gesture early in our relationship. That is exactly what my tree is, a display of meaningful pieces of life that illuminates my house for a few short weeks every year. Let your tree be unique to you.

Oh and the ornament Anne-Marie bought me was an Anakin Skywalker Starfighter from Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. Of course.