“It is so strange to hear someone call you Mike,” my wife says to me the other day. She is in fact correct – I find it jarring now as well. That is so ten years ago! Wait a minute… has it been that long? I’m finding it difficult to wrap my head around the beginning of a new decade, as I really don’t feel like Y2K was that long ago. In reflection I have discovered that this was a defining decade for me. It started out a little rough, but it has ended on such an emotional high.
A few ticks past midnight on 1/1/2000, I was embraced by a woman whose name I barely remember at a stranger’s house with people who I will never cross paths with again. How I got there was all part of the plan to get my life on track. I had only recently uprooted my (lack of) life and moved to Cincinnati from Cleveland to start anew. There is no bigger way to change one’s life than to pick up everything and move. The biggest change, however, happened with just one common question asked by every new person I met: “Do you prefer Mike or Michael?” The first time this was asked of me, my knee jerk reaction was Michael. Why not? It was something different. Mike had his chance for nearly 30 years, it was Michael’s turn to take the reins. The new me had a lot of pieces to put together, and dating continued to be a struggle. So to circle back to where I started this paragraph, I had met this woman on an Internet dating site. So there I stood at a party filled with mostly P&G employees, trying (too) hard to make a good impression. Let’s just say Michael still had some work to do, as this dating situation didn’t last many days longer.
2000 continued along with many growing pains, many that can fill other posts someday. The best thing that happened came through another woman whose name I barely remember that I had met on an Internet dating site (get used to this, it will indeed come up again). I followed some gal to an audition for Community Theater. It was on this night, that I introduced myself again as Michael, and it was cemented indefinitely as so with this vast group of creative folks. I now have ten years of success and personal fulfillment as an actor. I marvel at large my world has become, and I cherish the relationships I have formed. The new Michael had a solid foundation from which to build upon.
The decade’s biggest regret was a 4-year long learning process that was unfortunate but necessary. I had it in my head that I was lonely, and I was still clinging to the Internet dating as a crutch. Then 9/11 happened, and I don’t need to tell anyone how the world changed. Anxiety over my future or lack thereof was clouding my understanding of what it truly meant to be in a relationship. Out of frustration, I decided to take one last date on-line, and that would have to work. So I met this woman. There was nothing wrong with her. She was nice. She was stable. She had a really great cat. All perfect reasons to keep dating… right? Let us make a long story short and leave it at that. Our relationship began on a lie (She was too ashamed to admit to anyone that we met on-line), and ended on a lie (She had moved on to someone else). The important lesson I learned from this is that you can work on a relationship all you want, but working hard is not working smart. I was blind to the fact that this other person was just going along with everything because she was too polite to have her own opinion. I wasn’t being honest with myself, which blinded me to what my situation was. I wasn’t being embraced as the Michael I wanted to be. Sure, I’m bitter about the whole thing, but in the end it was a valuable experience that led my to the most important chapter of my life.
Anne-Marie wasn’t supposed to happen. After my 1-year old marriage fell apart, I was ready for a dramatic and pathetic personal downward spiral. I was miserable in the dating pool for so long, and I dreaded having to enter it again. I prepared myself for the worst. Then Anne-Marie happened. How could she have faith in a man whose every red flag was flying. It was a blessing that she had to trust me immediately, and that I was ready to listen to my soul. All these years I was searching for her, and all I had to do was let her find me. She has shared and improved every aspect of my life. Her delight with this character Michael has made it easier for me to be who I’ve wanted to be. I can’t really say she completed the transformation to Michael, she just unearthed what was always there.
The new decade will bring about another change immediately. My name won’t be affected this time – I’ll just be awarded a new title: Daddy. What a ride this will be. I can’t even begin to imagine what message I will have in 2020. It will probably be a very outdated Hugh Downs joke.
Happy Teens.
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